January 21, 2026, 12:12 pm | Read time: 6 minutes

As a cat owner, you naturally want to build a good relationship with your pet. But sometimes it seems as if our animals don’t (or no longer) like us. There can be various reasons why the relationship with the pet has suffered. However, cats usually show quite clearly when they are not favorably disposed toward us at the moment. Then there are certain signs and 13 behaviors to watch out for. Here’ss what you can do if the cat doesn’t like you and how to build and maintain a bond.

Cats Are Very Social Creatures

Even though it still surprises some, cats are social animals that form complex bonds with their owners. The independent and solitary cat that sees humans as its staff is nothing more than a myth.

Krystin Vitale Shreve, an animal behavior researcher at Oregon State University, has been studying for years what cats really like and what they prefer to avoid. In 2017, she and her colleagues found in a study that they preferred interaction with a human over toys or food.

Two years later, the cat researcher found in another study that cats respond to our behavior. It depends on how we approach the animals. If we suddenly ignore them and change our behavior, they no longer want to know us. However, the animals also mirror our behavior when we initiate contact. For this purpose, the scientists studied 23 cats living with their owners and 23 animals that had to live in a shelter. When people petted the cat, called it by name, and talked to it, the animals gladly gave them attention.

Shelter Cats Need More Attention

Krystin Vitale Shreve and her colleagues also found in the 2019 study that there is a difference between cats that have a home and those that live in a shelter. Whether cats live at home or in a shelter can affect their sociability, the scientists write in the study. Shelter cats spent more time with people during the study than animals that had a permanent home.

The study suggests that the animals greatly appreciate our attention and become more affectionate rather than distant when they temporarily live in a shelter without sufficient contact. They want to live with us and are very socially oriented creatures.

These 13 Signs Show When Cats Don’t Like Their Owners

The research results indicated that house cats recognize the human’s state of attention and adjust their behavior accordingly. This shows that they are sensitive to human social signals and tend to be more social when they encounter an attentive person.

However, cats usually have specific reasons why they don’t like certain people or are upset with their owner. This can be easily recognized through the means available to the cat for communication. You should watch for the following often sudden and changed behaviors:

1. The cat doesn’t come to greet you when you enter the apartment/house
2. The animal no longer wants to sleep in bed with you
3. It ignores the person entering the room
4. Its tail is lowered—a clear sign of disdain
5. Refuses to be petted
6. The cat no longer purrs
7. It avoids eye contact
8. The cat hides
9. It suddenly hisses, bites, or scratches people or furniture
10. It bristles its fur and lays its ears back
11. It doesn’t sleep in a relaxed position and doesn’t show its belly
12. The animal becomes unclean or relieves itself on the owner’s clothing
13. The cat arches its back, growls, and swats with its paw

Behaviors 8 to 13 will be shown by the animal if it is really scared or perhaps even in pain.

More on the topic

Behavior Explained 11 Reasons Cats Hiss

Behavior explained 8 reasons why cats arch their backs

Why Doesn’t the Cat Like Me Anymore?

There can be several reasons why cats change their behavior and show the behaviors described above, mainly related to changes. If you have acquired a second cat or a dog, the animals often show defensive behavior.

Even if you have a new job and come home at different times or later than usual, it confuses the cat and disrupts its routine. Additionally, changes in your own life situation, such as a new roommate, partner, or the birth of a child, can lead to the animals no longer being happy and balanced.

Changes in the territory of outdoor cats can also lead to discontent among the animals. Perhaps a new tomcat has appeared in the territory, trying to prove itself and bullying the resident cat. As an owner, you should be particularly vigilant and regularly check the animal for injuries. If the cat refuses to go outside due to this change, it should at least be allowed to enjoy the sun on the balcony or terrace.

How Can You Repair the Relationship With Your Cat?

However, the animals also show their discomfort when there are no direct changes in the environment. This is primarily because they are bored or not sufficiently stimulated. To strengthen the bond with the animal (again), you should:

• Integrate regular play sessions into daily life
• Cuddle with the animal
• Set up the apartment to be cat-friendly (hiding and play opportunities)
• Offer variety in daily life, such as with clicker training
• Provide a spot at the window or on the balcony
• Let the animal sleep in bed
• Give the animal attention and love

With these tips, the cat should feel comfortable and content again in a short time. However, if the signs do not disappear, it may be that an undetected illness is causing discomfort in the animal. This should be clarified with a visit to the veterinarian.