July 10, 2025, 11:27 am | Read time: 8 minutes
She meows—and we jump. She scratches at the door—we open it. Many cat owners are all too familiar with these scenarios. But what if the line between love and spoiling has long been crossed? PETBOOK editor and cat behavior expert Saskia Schneider reveals 13 signs to help you determine if your cat is spoiled.
Cats know exactly how to get what they want–and many owners willingly let themselves be manipulated. Below, I describe 13 scenarios from the coexistence of humans and cats that are typical examples of us spoiling our cats too much. In which do you recognize yourself and your own cat?
Cat In, Cat Out
The cat sits at the door, meows or scratches–and the door opens. Most animals quickly figure out how to train their humans. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, as cats have good reasons for it. Either they want to always be with their humans or simply keep an eye on their territory. Closed doors are a nuisance.
As humans, we should understand this. But that doesn’t mean we’re reduced to being door openers. Often, we’re just not consistent enough, because it’s perfectly okay to jump into the shower alone or signal to the cat that access to the terrace is not available right now.
Unfortunately, most cats quickly learn how to get us to open the door. So if you’re one of those cat owners who gives in when the cat stands at the balcony door for the third time wanting to go out, only to repeat the same game three seconds later, your cat is definitely spoiled.
Cat Has a Cat Flap
To avoid playing door opener, many opt for a cat flap. It’s a practical solution for both parties. The cat can determine its own schedule and come and go as it pleases. However, this often leads to cats finding second families in the neighborhood to score extra food or cuddles. Quite spoiled, don’t you think?
Cat Has Its Own Doorbell
Not everyone can or is allowed to install a cat flap. Those who still want to ensure their cat doesn’t stand in front of a closed door when returning from a stroll install a cat doorbell. Yes, such a thing really exists. It’s essentially a motion detector placed at cat height by the door. For the cat, it’s very luxurious. For us humans, it can be frustrating, especially when a fox or deer shows up instead of the expected pet.
Nighttime Is Party Time
Are you one of those people who regularly gets woken up in the middle of the night by your cat? Either through loud meowing, scratching, or racing around (often with full speed over the people lying in bed). When you blink sleepily at the animal, you get a look that says, “Oh, you’re awake? Then you can feed me.” Or the cat wants to be let out–back to being a door opener. No matter why your pet wakes you up at night, this behavior usually stems from our inconsistency and is a sure sign that your cat is spoiled.
Constantly New Food
Sometimes just a disgusted look makes us nervous. Does the cat not like the food? Is it the wrong type again? But she has to eat something! We quickly open a new can. Not that one either? Then the third type. Luckily, she eats.
Did you recognize yourself? It’s not unusual for cats to be quite picky eaters. Many animals train their humans to offer food until the favorite type lands in the bowl. Some might say, “It’s nice that she knows what she likes.” In my experience, the cat usually eats the food if you simply leave the kitchen and clearly signal: this or nothing for now.
If you have several open cans in your cupboard or cat food regularly ends up in the trash, it’s definitely a sign that your cat is spoiled.
But be careful: This doesn’t mean you should let your cat go hungry, as is sometimes recommended for dogs. Just put the food away after half an hour and offer another type. After all, there could be an intolerance or even an allergy behind it. Or the cat simply doesn’t like a certain type–and that’s okay too.
Cat Only Eats from the Hand
Some people are convinced their pet will only eat properly if they feed it by hand in portions. Often, this behavior stems from a serious illness and becomes a beloved ritual for the cat. If the human isn’t there, she refuses to eat. As a cat owner, you quickly become anxious when the cat sits in front of a full bowl looking visibly dissatisfied. This can actually be a reason why the animal doesn’t eat. In most cases, it’s completely unnecessary to spoil your cat this way.
Holes in the Skin? But She’s So Sweet
When cats have a close bond with their humans, they massage them while purring loudly. This so-called “kneading” is a leftover from kitten life when young cats massage their mother’s teats to stimulate milk flow. Even as adult cats, they like to knead on soft surfaces when they feel comfortable and secure. This can be uncomfortable, especially if you’re lightly dressed. But a true cat lover knows no pain and bravely endures their cat’s displays of affection.
It would be perfectly okay to move the animal or place a blanket underneath, but you don’t want to signal to the cat that the behavior is unwanted. So we sit still. Some cats are even allowed to massage their humans in completely inappropriate situations, like during a video call with business colleagues–quite spoiled.
Don’t Disturb the Cat
This falls into the same category: The cat sleeps on the office chair, but you urgently need to get something done at the desk. But she’s lying there so comfortably. So you sit on the sofa or bed with the laptop and accept having back pain the next day. Or the cat falls asleep on your lap, and you don’t get up to go to the bathroom despite a bursting bladder. You don’t want to wake the animal.
Cat Can Sit Anywhere
It’s not only okay but desirable for cats to have access to elevated areas like shelves, the sofa, or bed. After all, they want to survey their territory from above. But that doesn’t mean you have to allow the cat to sit everywhere. Like on the freshly set birthday table where the cake is already waiting. The guests surely don’t mind cat hair in the cake. Even if your pet is allowed to sit next to the cutting board on the counter while cooking, it’s a sure sign that your cat is spoiled and you urgently need to set boundaries–at least if you’re expecting guests for dinner.
Cat Constantly Wants to Be Held
This behavior is usually associated with toddlers. But there are also cats that constantly want to be held. These are often particularly human-oriented animals. My own cat Nairobi was hand-raised and fixated on humans from a young age. She always wanted to be close to the body, preferably all day. As a kitten, she often sat on my forearm while I did household chores one-handed. Now she’s too big for that, but still wants to be carried in certain situations. I’m not alone in this, as numerous videos online show cat owners even using baby slings to wrap their pets, which most find great. A definite sign that the cat is spoiled.
Cat Can Eat from the Plate
Cats can be quite intrusive if we allow it. What might initially be amusing–”look, she’s fishing something from the plate”–can later become annoying. Especially when you can’t eat a meal alone anymore. Believe me, I know what I’m talking about. My cat Nairobi was very sick for a while and barely ate. So I allowed her to sit right next to me while eating and gave her butter to lick so she’d eat anything at all. This eventually led to the cat grabbing my hand with her paw during meals and pulling the spoon or fork to herself. Often, the food ended up on the floor. Additionally, Nairobi also bothered our guests when we had visitors for dinner.
This doesn’t mean you can’t spoil your cat with treats. But better at a separate place and not directly at the dining table–your fellow humans will thank you.
Cat Can Sleep in the Closet
Cats love dark, hidden places like sleeping dens, boxes, and closets. The wardrobe is especially popular because it’s cozy and smells like their favorite human. Many allow their cat this luxury. After all, the hair ends up on all clothes anyway. But honestly, most cats are provided with enough sleeping places, cozy dens, and boxes by their humans. Does the animal really need to lie in the closet? After all, many not only leave hair but also pull threads or make holes in the clothes while trying to rearrange the stacks to create the perfect lying surface.
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Demanding Attention
One of the surest signs that your cat is spoiled is the constant demand for attention. Whether while reading, when the cat cleverly positions itself between the book and our field of vision, or immediately jumps on the lap as soon as you sit down. Constant meowing, scratching, or knocking things over also counts. Because for all this, most cats receive our attention–positive or negative.
Even if the cat wants to be involved everywhere, it’s a way of demanding our attention. Here, everyone must decide for themselves how much they spoil their pet and engage in cuddling and play. Some cat owners even tolerate their pet wanting to be very close during bathroom visits.