October 13, 2023, 8:37 am | Read time: 6 minutes

Sometimes it’s just love at first sight: Your dog sees a person, starts wagging enthusiastically, and lets the stranger across from you on the train pet him as if they’ve been best friends forever. Sometimes, however, it’s the exact opposite, and your dog won’t stop barking at a certain type of person or seems completely unimpressed by any attempts to bribe or pet him. Why is it that dogs can’t stand us, and how do they decide if they like us? PETBOOK asked a dog trainer and reveals the answer here.  

Why do dogs like some people more than others?

It was love at first sight: No, I don’t mean my partner, nor my previous boyfriend, or any of the others before. I’ve only truly experienced “love at first sight” with my dog Rudi. Between Rudi and me, there was an immediate sense of trust, excitement, and deep affection. He was supposed to be just a temporary guest, a small former street dog from a shelter. But when he was handed to me wagging at a highway rest stop, confidently climbed onto my lap in the car, and licked my ice cream from the fast-food drive-thru, we were both smitten.

Rudi liked me, I liked him, and I couldn’t imagine him being better off anywhere else. That’s possible, says dog expert Laura Garvs from the online dog school wedog when asked by PETBOOK. According to the expert, dogs are very social animals and can form particularly strong bonds with people. However, it can also happen that they don’t quite “warm up” to some people.   

How should I react if my dog gives people the cold shoulder?

Colleagues who soon got to meet my dog Rudi were also liked by him. Just like almost everyone else–except for a few rare encounters where he turned away disinterestedly, even though they meant well. Sometimes it seems as if he wants to choose for himself whom he gives attention to and whom he doesn’t. I’ve often found myself in situations where Rudi gave the cold shoulder to dog-loving people who greeted him with a lovingly whispered “Who are you, sweetie?” I regularly feel bad about it. But I shouldn’t. 

“It’s perfectly normal for a dog not to want to be petted sometimes,” says dog trainer Laura Garvs. “A dog doesn’t have to like being touched by various, perhaps even unfamiliar, people.” Dog owners have the important task of recognizing and standing up for their dog’s feelings and needs. “Only then can the other person understand the dog’s behavior and pay attention to the dog’s body language next time,” the expert says. 

Dogs decide for themselves whom they like or not. Often, however, they are not entirely uninfluenced. As owners, we may unconsciously help them decide how they feel about someone.  

Also interesting: Are small dogs more aggressive than large ones?

Owner behavior may influence whether dogs like someone

Dogs, generally considered very empathetic, likely model their behavior toward others on their owners’ behavior. This is suggested by a study from Kyoto University in Japan, which states that animals, like young children, observe the social interactions of their human family members and mimic the behavior. If your dog is indifferent to someone, it could be due to your attitude toward that person.  

Positive and negative experiences

It’s not always your behavior that influences your dog. Experiences the dog has had in the past–both positive and negative–affect his later preferences and aversions. If dogs react negatively to a certain “type” of person, they often have had negative experiences with that type. This could be blonde women or tall, dark-haired men. If your dog grew up with women, he will likely continue to be drawn to women. Conversely, if he was teased by a child, the chances are slim that your dog will be particularly fond of children.  

There is a positive dog aura

You might know those enviable people who always seem completely relaxed. Often, such people are particularly attractive to dogs: the more indifferent a person is, the better. Confidence is attractive, as alpha animals in a pack also exude confidence. There are also studies suggesting that dogs observe social interactions in groups and draw conclusions from them. Your dog’s judgment would then depend on how the person generally behaves toward other living beings; if a person is generous, they would be more trustworthy to your dog than someone who frequently gets into conflicts or is very cold toward others. However, the current state of research questions this theory, according to the Science Information Service.

More on the topic

PETBOOK Interview TV Star Jana Schölermann: “My Dog Knew About My Pregnancy Before I Did!”

Important Decision Should I Get a Second Dog? A Dog Trainer’s Advice

Do I have to be my pet’s favorite person?

Dogs can sometimes be real opportunists. If your dog once again eagerly accepts a treat from the vet or greets your brother-in-law with a whimper of joy at the door, you might wonder if you are really his “favorite person.” The perhaps disappointing answer here: not necessarily. Even if you are the primary caregiver, it doesn’t mean your dog prefers you over others. That depends on various factors.  

The closest bond dogs usually have is with those who cared for them during their socialization period, from puppyhood to about six months old. These experiences shape young dogs for their future lives, so it’s important to provide your dog with trust and security during this time. Every positive encounter makes your puppy a confident, happy dog. Try to create many positive interactions with a variety of people, places, and things. If you adopted your dog later, you can still work on a deeper bond. Give your dog attention, frequently try new things with him, and use positive feedback. Physical closeness, petting, and playing also create emotional closeness and trust. Make time for this regularly. 

Conclusion: Dogs have their own taste

Dogs have their own taste when it comes to whom they like or not. Often, however, they take cues from their owners and decide based on your relationship with certain people whether they like someone or not. Sometimes positive or negative experiences also influence your dog’s behavior. If your dog prefers others over you and you are not among his absolute “favorite people,” don’t take it personally. Instead, try to work on your bond with the animal, as it’s never too late for that. You don’t have to be number one everywhere.