July 14, 2025, 4:58 am | Read time: 6 minutes
Are dogs from shelters really more grateful? That’s a belief many hold. Dog trainer Simeon Faller from Munich has a clear opinion on this: He considers this notion of gratitude even dangerous, as it leads to misunderstandings and unrealistic expectations.
Just over two months ago, I adopted a dog named Paco from a Romanian shelter. My previous dog, Splash, also came from a shelter. Although the two couldn’t be more different in appearance and character, people seem to notice their origins. On walks, I often hear comments like, “Yes, shelter dogs are just so grateful.”
But is that really the case? I don’t have that impression–and I didn’t adopt a shelter dog to receive gratitude from him. Dog trainer Simeon Faller from Munich trains many shelter dogs and finds the idea that adopted dogs are particularly grateful not only unrealistic but also dangerous.
“The Concept of Gratitude Doesn’t Exist in Dogs”
PETBOOK: Simeon, as a dog trainer, what do you say: Are shelter dogs actually more grateful?
Simeon Faller: “No, fundamentally, this concept of gratitude doesn’t exist in dogs. Dogs don’t have the same moral principles as we humans do. For example, if a dog comes from a Romanian kennel to a two-room apartment in Munich, he’s torn from his familiar environment and placed in a completely new world. He doesn’t understand what’s happening at first. His dog friends, his known surroundings–all of that is gone. People think they’ve ‘rescued’ him, but for the dog, it takes at least three months to even understand that he now has a new home.”
Where does this impression come from?
“There are dogs that seem very clingy–this can be because they’ve had good experiences with humans. This is often mistakenly interpreted as gratitude. But actual gratitude in the human sense? Not really. Maybe for the food at the moment–but not for the rescue itself.”
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I think many also believe: “Oh my God, the poor dog had it so bad–now he has a better life with a soft bed, food, and a home–he must notice that!”
“You always have to consider this on a case-by-case basis. Many people automatically assume that a shelter dog had a hard life. Many dogs were born on farms and lived there with their mother for the first few weeks. Then they were abandoned–often in the hope that the shelter would pick them up. Other dogs lived on the street, had a kind of social environment there. For them, being ‘rescued’ is a shock, not a salvation. They lose the familiar, their freedom, their pack. And suddenly there are leashes, collars, and new rules.”
“Many Dogs Haven’t Necessarily Experienced Bad Things, Just Nothing at All”
What misunderstandings do you often see as a dog trainer among owners, especially with shelter dogs?
“The biggest misunderstanding is that the dog has to function immediately. He should ideally lie quietly by the fireplace, play, cuddle–just be a ‘finished’ dog. But many of these dogs haven’t really experienced their puppy and adolescent phases. If a dog, for example, came into a kennel at eight weeks and is then adopted at eight months–then he knows nothing else.
Many dogs haven’t necessarily experienced bad things, just nothing at all. They don’t know play, environmental stimuli, or bonding with humans. They’re initially overwhelmed and anxious. Yet many expect immediate love and closeness–if that doesn’t happen, it’s often said after a few hours: ‘The dog has to go back.’
What do you say to people who expect gratitude from their dog?
“They should let go of the concept of gratitude. It’s a clear anthropomorphism and often leads to frustration and even punishment–like withholding affection or banning from the couch. A dog doesn’t understand that. He can’t make moral connections like ‘I’m ungrateful because I did X.’ The responsibility lies with the human, not the animal. The human must earn the dog’s trust–not the other way around. The dog may come–but you can’t expect that to happen immediately. If he sits in the corner for weeks, then that’s his retreat, his safe space.”
“I Myself Have Adopted Two Dogs from Romania–Both Were Completely Different from How They Were Described”
Many of your clients come to you with shelter dogs. What are your experiences with that?
“Yes, that’s my main target group. I myself have adopted two dogs from Romania–both were completely different from how they were described. Not out of malice–the rescuers work at their limits. They assess dogs based on snapshots. For example, it was said: ‘Gets along with cats’–that wasn’t true at all for my dog Jessie. Or: ‘Very clingy’–but in the new home, there was initially no sign of that. This leads to disappointment among owners–but it’s understandable. Relationships take time, and many forget that.”
Speaking of relationships: What can be done to build a relationship–especially when the dog comes from a foreign shelter and suddenly lands in a two-room apartment?
“First: nothing. Put down water and food–and leave him alone. The dog needs time to settle in. Sit somewhere and observe. No petting, no forced cuddling. Pressure creates resistance–it’s like an exam with the teacher looking over your shoulder. Three days of absolute calm would be ideal. No long walks–better to let him sniff around the house for ten minutes, explore the surroundings. The dog sets the pace. Trust must grow, not be demanded.”
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“The Dog Should Occasionally Be Allowed to Make His Own Decisions”
How can people who have had their dog for two to six months further strengthen the relationship?
“Very important: politeness towards the dog. The dog should occasionally be allowed to make his own decisions–for example, choosing the path during a walk. This also boosts his self-confidence. In general, physical contact is valuable, but only if the dog wants it. Many make the mistake of imposing themselves on the dog when he wants to rest or sleep–that destroys trust. Likewise outside: If the dog wants to avoid another dog–let him. Don’t force him into the situation. That’s how trust is built.”
Many shelter dogs suffer from separation anxiety. Why?
“This often stems from early deprivations: being separated from the mother too early, frequent passing around, shelters, foster families–this affects the dog. Many never learn that humans reliably return. Some dogs can never fully learn to be alone–for others, it works with training. You should start by having the dog learn to stay in one room when you leave. Small steps, no
What’s your most important advice for shelter dog owners?
“I often find that people are very quickly insecure in dealing with their dogs because they’re unsure if they’re adequate as owners. So my tip: Don’t gather too much information that overwhelms you. Sometimes turn off your head and turn on your heart. Just observe your dog, and it usually works out. You eventually grow together and develop a language that only you both understand.”